“We work hard to support AG, the English-language magazine of love, sex and CG culture, which features great English-translated hentai manga for manga fans -- the new volume of this great manga magazine is in stock in our San Diego office!”

Hooray! Here's the first of many flagrant abuses of the word “culture!” As you know, we now have a “Hentai Culture.” Isn't that word supposed to have some meaning? Like, something kinda-sorta noble? Something that people have lived and died for and want to protect? Not a bunch of maladjusted kids beating off over cartoons? Nope! You see, we've thought long and hard about this, and we have everything required to classify us as a culture. We've got traditional cuisine (Cool Ranch Doritos, dehydrated Ramen), prayer rituals (well, you know, “blessing the snake-idol”), traditional products (crudely scrawled pictures of Sailor Moon getting it on with Vegeta), even a sort of religion centered around soft-focused, milky-skinned Asian “idols.” So get this, you scumfucks, next time you say that J-Pop is “fucking awful, formulaic, aural diarhhea” and J-Rock is a “godawful throwback to eighties glam rock”, you're a BIGOT. Why, you might as well throw your bedsheets over your head and drag us from the back of your pickup truck, because that's our TRADITIONAL MUSIC. I am provocatively putting my index and middle finger between my nose and upper lip and throwing my hand into the air! Seig Heil! Our ancient CG culture is beautiful and noble! And no, we won't bathe - The water will wash away our souls. Live with it, you goddamned cultural fascist.

“Amanoja9 is has an all new illustration doujinshi out and it's cover to cover well-hung hermaphrodites (dick girls). Dressed in various cosplay (nurse, swimsuit, gothic lolita, maid, bunny girl and more) costume, these lovely "new half" ladies are waiting for you to take them home. Exquisitely well-drawn new-half lovelies from the Behaviour universe. Quality art from an artist you trust and love”

That's right, trust. When you want a manga full of huge breasted, floppy donged maidens, What's-his-face-alphanumeric guy here is the one you can trust! His career has been an uphill climb with many obstacles along the way, people were cynical and naturally distrusting after manga after manga promised THICK MEATY GIRLSAUSAGE but cruelly disappointed with merely slightly oversized clitori. But he perservered, building his reputation with volume after volume of hot chicks with big veiny dicks. Now, when you want credibility, when you want integrity, when you want turgid, throbbing ladycock, come to Amanoja9.

“Hey, fuck you man! Bro there is INVISIBLE, it's not just that I didn't feel like shading or anything! No appreciation for art these days...”
The Invisible Company Employee 2 -- Toumei Shain 2 - Touru is not quite your average Japanese business man. With his ability to change invisible, well, he doesn't get much done around the office. In fact, the others see right through him. Running through the halls of his office, Touru tries his best to use his powers for the good...of himself!”

I have a feeling something will ensue from this ZANY situation. Maybe... Hijinx? Yes, since time immemorial, man has pondered the nature of the gods, invisible beings who control nature by their whims. From that, the classic theological question: If you were invisible, wouldn't you just spend your time checking out girls in the change room? Later, these deep questions were explored in the provocative biblical epics "Porky's" and "Revenge of the Nerds" where man attempts to emulate the Gods and find meaning in a cold, impersonal universe, as well as highlighting the eternal dialectic struggle between the “Slobs” versus the “Snobs.” Once again, I imagine this comic will be a significant look into the hubris of man and his struggle to comprehend the eternal. It also means the artist doesn't have to draw dick - Fuck that, he ain't into that queer shit, holmes.

“A wild collection of parody manga from OKS Comics featuring the art of Yukino Asano, of Ichigo Milk who does Tokyo Mew Mew cat girl maids who love bukkake, of Yui Kankan who does a Chobits parody wherein Chii fills her orifices with large vibrators”

An open letter to Mad Magazine, and to a lesser extent, its autistic stepbrother Cracked:

Okay, guys. While I'm certain “mutating” X-Men 2 was riotous, and “decompiling” The Matrix 2 was side splitting, I think you need to take Japan's lead on this one. Like the automobile, the radio, or the color television, your work in the field of parody is insightful and innovative, for instance, the recent observation that large first aid icons will restore your life in video games, but hilariously do not if you are seriously maimed in an automobile accident in real life. However, like the beforementioned innovations, I think the Japanese can greatly improve on your parody concept. For instance, in your regular “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” feature, you could instead change all the witty repartee to forced oral sex. And maybe instead of “Graverobbing” Tomb Raider, you can just have fifteen pages of a rough approximation of Angelina Jolie masturbating. The Lighter Side Of: Rape, coprophilia, and sloppy facials? And let's not even get into the Fold-In. Guys - I really don't want to see you left behind. Who else will be there to fill your shoes? Who else will take the noble lead in pointing out that “Steve Martin acting like a rapper is pretty ridiculous” if you guys fold? Lame, obvious satire isn't just a tradition, nay, it's the glue that holds America together. Please get it together, guys.

-Rev. Ragu

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