Dirty Pair Part 2: A Prescription for Boredom

February 3, 2002
Author: Reverend Ragu
With all the raw eroticism of health class.

Last week I took you on a brief excursion in my powerboat of love skimming this bay, the one on that ocean with the consistency of that gelatinous shit that comes off of the top of spam and cat food, called “Dirty Pair Hentai.” While the tentacle furries and edible-faced superhero sexxing might have turned the weak willed casual ecchinaut away, we, the manly men and manlier women still have much deeper to dive in this stinking lake of processed meat preservative; a fetid congealing sea where the fish look like your grandmother's vagina and procreate by shitting in each other. Before that, however, we have to take a short detour on this leisure cruise to the isla del crapola. While it won't curse you and your descendants to impotence for five generations like some of the other stuff we'll be featuring, it'll do nicely to put you to sleep.

Prescription is another sordid tale of the Dirty Pair's “undercover” work, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE FUCK I'M BLEEDING TO DEATH. To tell you the truth, there aren't any covers that they go under; that would obscure the view of the hot sexy sexiness going down. Oh, and as mentioned above, it's really fucking boring.

Tasteful and understated, unlike the rest of this sordid tale
Why the hell am I doing an article on boring porn? Seems like kind of a waste of time; a site dedicated to the most remarkable Japanese fuck drawings doing an article on dull-ass shit? Well, that's why you aren't the one with the megahit website, linked from several peoples' messageboard signatures, huh? You see, this is not just boring, it's extraordinarily boring! It's insanely boring! It's FUCKLUDICROUSLY boring! With all those superlatives, the only question should be why haven't I done an article on it already?

Starting at the cover we have Yuri, along with some tasteful typefacing straight off one of those barely jerkable frenchie art-porn movies. Oddly enough, that's quite appropriate for this somnial saga. And with the creator's name, "Yoshimasa Watanabe", displayed proudly, I'm somehow reminded of another snorefest, the infamous circa-2000 video game John Romero's Daikatana, leaving visions of running into invisible vaginal walls and unable to proceed without my buddy Superfly assisting me in slamming Yuri from all sides. A lovely mental image to begin our journey to the depths with.

“Wow, it's a man with a vagina; finally everything I've ever wanted in a woman.”
Well, it's not bad, but it's not good either. While it's concievable that someone, somewhere MIGHT be able to get off to it, statistically speaking, I find it to be somewhat improbable that it will happen in our lifetime. There's a lot of restraint being exercised in the nipple department; most manga authors draw extravagant Taj Mahal-inspired nipples, gold plated with spires and towering parapets and majectic classical architecture. It's still debatable whether the author has actually seen real live girlie nipple, but that goes without saying. It's just completely unrealistic in the other direction, which, for fuck's sakes, if you're going to draw anatomy without actual practical knowledge of the subject, the least you can do is err on the side of extravagant. I'm not here for the breezy and fun atmosphere, folks, I'm here for the spurting geysers of cream cheese and some seriously fanciful nipples. I'm already seeing that this doujinshi is a failure on at least one of those levels, but let's see if we can still make a bagel out of it.

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