Revolutionizing the doujinshi world once again, Kouta provides us with Faye's tits. The world jumps in shock at this once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. Of course, he's applying his craft to Ed's non-tits at the same time, which dilutes the pure RADNESS in this scene with equal parts BUMMER. So Ed starts raping Faye. I suppose it's slightly more ethically sound if it's this way and not the other way around, but it still seems like one of those classic “using your own vomit to lubricate your jerk session” doujinshi. I jest of course, as everyone knows we're all horrible perverts who should be executed in the cruelest way possible. WAI ^_^v

So anyway, Faye counters with her own finely honed lesbian grope technique - And if you're sexually assaulted by a decidedly unsexy thirteen year old girl, the logical course of action is to molest her yourself and not just throw her off you and exclaim “What the fuck are you doing kid?” I guess that in space, no one can charge you with aggravated statutory rape. From functional to horrible in 0.6 seconds, a goddamn world record. The fact that Kouta's using the same techniques that other artists use to turn your average ho-hum tale of super busty S&M french maids making out with each other into something that rends the heavens in twain and embeds itself into legend and folklore once again greatly confuses my poor penis. Of course, the confusion doesn't last for long. The comic quickly goes bad - But of course, by now you've got so much guilty whackoff momentum that there's no stopping.
Hey, it's Ein! The sole voice of reason on this ship! Maybe he'll put a stop to this misanthropic nonsense! Plus, you know, he's probably neutered, so I'm sure he wouldn't be into ruining himself for us; the last character on the Bebop that we can like without thinking of him as a deviant... C'mon Ein. C'mon boy. Let's save this thing. Let's pray for a true peace in space. No Ein, this way. Don't go toward Ed's strategically ripped tights. I've got doggy treats! Ein? Ein...?


BAD FUCKING DOG Literally! Fucking shoot me.

Quoting the esteemed Mike of the Generic Dudes, BARF!
Never mind that having a dog bury his bone in you would be the most humiliating thing you could possibly have done to you, Ed seems to be happy about it in a wide-eyed, “not so rough you're tearing my asshole” sort of way. Faye, too, is very much into this horrible perversion of nature. “Dog dicksnot? Don't mind if I do!” God. Finally, Hirano Kouta has done what an entire shitty manga series, a run on the Cartoon Network, and seventeen gajillion dumb cocks dressing up as Spike at anime conventions in a haphazard attempt to grab some of Spike's cool in a vain hope to make some insecure, barely-average cosplaying pussy wet, have failed to do: He has made me hate every single member of the crew of the Bebop in one fell swoop, and makes it look good while he does it. Congrats, Kouta, you've just been crowned the most deviously awful doujinshi artist ever. You're kiilling me, but I love it.

Sure, the doujinshi goes on for more pages than I give a shit about, but it doesn't matter. We've hit rock bottom already, and you know, once you've hit rock bottom then there's nowhere to go but up. Or you can just die a Jack Daniels-and-heroin-fueled G.G. Allin-esque demise. To be honest, choking to death in my own filth and having the attendants of my funeral defile my corpse in the most perverted of ways seems like a pretty excellent idea right now. I will carry on, though, despite my better judgment, slogging through the trenches of hentai horror to search for new lows, but I really doubt it gets much lower than this. The Holy Grail of awful hentai? Perhaps. Unlike that scene in Indiana Jones, though, this Holy Grail is the one that rips the lifeforce out of me and sends me to a rapid, agonizing doom.

I suppose it's better than finding the Hentai Ark of the Covenant and getting my face melted off by the wrath of God, though. Hoping that's in one of those crappy JAST USA H-Games. There's a certain someone who's due for a face-melting any day now...



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